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When It Rains, It Pours

If you follow my inconsistent blogging, you might remember my blog from late July when I described the feeling of drowning--or sinking...since accepting my call to preach.

Here it is...

It's been...TUMULTUOUS, to say the very, very least.

It's been said that when it rains, it pours. So cliche, I know. But it's true.

My 2017 was beautiful and eye-opening, and filled with chaos and commotion.

Some things that happened:

1) Fell in love...with a person and preaching...
2) Parted with my acting manager
2) Parted with my acting career all together (at least temporarily)
3) Quit my job (decreasing my income by 75%)
4) Accepted a job at a church that wasn't my home church (#SeparationAnxiety)
5) Lost "friends"
6) Separated from my comfort zone

So, that is a lot. And then 2018 happened and....KA BOOM!

I won't go into details but WHEN IT RAINS, IT MUTHAF***IN POURS, OKAY!

It seems like the more I lean into this calling, the more I lose. The more I say "Yes" to God, the more I have to depart from the plans and people I had in mind for the journey.

At church today, Pastor Mike said, "Sometimes new beginnings are disguised as painful endings." That's a hard one, but it's true.

Eventually, the soil must turnover to produce a new crop. The leaves must fall off in winter so the tree can produce new fruit in spring.

So, I'm believing God for new fruit! New leaves and new crops are on their way; and I don't know what they'll look like. I don't know what they'll smell like or feel like--but I'm holding out for provision.

1 John 2:19 says, "They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us."

The things and people I had to depart from in order to step into this new season in my life didn't belong to me. They might have had a purpose, yes--but they weren't necessary for my survival. For if they were necessary--if my manager or my ex-mentor or job were necessary for my survival--they wouldn't have departed from me.

I'm learning to LET GO in order to LEAN IN--to stand in the rain and hold on for dry weather--to accept my calling and purpose as the divine way of God, in-spite of the trials and tribulations.

This is my vow.

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say: "It is well. It is well with my soul."

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