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Showing posts from May, 2015

Grief

I've been trying to write a letter to you
since you visited me in my dreams
days after to you left this earth.
With all of these emotions,
I struggle to find the words to express
what it's like to lose a giant.
I worshiped you,
in a way.
God gave you to me
before I knew I needed you.
He knew  and you knew,
and it seems that now,
more than ever,
you cross my mind in infinite ways.
Is this what losing a parent feels like?
I don't desire to do this again,
although inevitable.
And I think about the mortality of my two remaining parents,
and I beg God to spare me-
to just give me a little more time to
prepare myself for the kind of indefinite
and sporadic
pain I'm bound to feel.
And these moments of grief cut so sharply,
so suddenly...
the unexpected tears flow and
all I can really do is just
let it rain.
I rain for you.
Even in the sun, I rain.
And I'm embarrassed and ashamed,
sometimes,
to tear up in a bar
or while walking down a crowded street
or to just sob for you in bed,
cry…