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Showing posts from February, 2013

Love Letter: the Music in Me

I think I fell in love with you when I was 13-- when I discovered the power you had over my life or the power you placed within me. Or maybe I fell in love with you when my fingers first graced the ebony and ivories of the wooden piano in my childhood home. Or maybe, it was long before that. Perhaps, I subconsciously fell in love with you while in my mothers womb--The sweet sounds of my father's genius fingers or my mother's angelic voice providing comfort as I sprouted from a seed in life's garden. Or perhaps, it was at conception. I don't quite remember the exact moment, year, month, week, age, or time of day. I just know that I woke up one day in a whirlwind romantic affair with you. All of a sudden, a life without you was unimaginable. Even when it seemed more painful to live with you than without you, you stuck by be and never let me go. I owe so much to you. So much of who I am is YOU. 
I often think to myself, will I ever be able to love another? Will our love af…

Learning to Feel

I've always been one to hide my feelings. In my world, there's no room for error...and having feelings meant room for error. I learned at a young age how to disguise my hurt with a smile, cover my pain with a bandage of unrequited love, stampede my grief with work. For so long, part of the mystery of Mia Michelle McClain was that she was a GLADIATOR--she showed no signs of weakness and she carried herself with grace. She had no needs for anyone but herself and God. She was a saint, a symbol of triumph, and a martyr for her artistic passions. "Hell, I am Mia Mc-F**ckin-Clain! I don't cry over petty things or simple people! I don't sulk, I simmer!" And then, I woke up one day in early August of last year and all of that changed.

I don't know why we build walls around ourselves. It does nothing for our character except make us less human. I've been building walls since middle school--and the longer you build them, the taller they get, and the harder to…

Baggage Claim

A few weeks ago, my flight from New York City to New Orleans was delayed. To make up for it, my airline offered me free baggage check and allowed me to alter the days of my trip for free. I got to thinking (as usual), what am I gonna bring home with me this time? 7 days is quite the stay and I'm traveling between 2 extremely different climates. I thought, 2 years ago, a simple carry-on would have sufficed. But I'm older now and I have a lot more "stuff."

It seems like the older you get, the larger your suitcase. The little problems and minor experiences we used to bring aboard life's plane in a simple carry-on, has now become a overweight suitcase full of life size lesions that eat at the very core of us. You know, those overweight suitcases that they charge you an extra $75 for at check in. Yea. We carry 2 or 3 of those around with us daily an expect to move through life with the speed and precision we had in our younger years. We get mad at the world (and ourse…

I'm Changing the Locks

In the 3 hours of sleep that I got on Wednesday night, I managed to have a dream about a guy repeatedly trying to break into my house. He was careless, leaving behind parts of himself in my backyard--shoes, clothes, tools. It felt like the saga went on and on. One day, he made it into my house and I stood face to face with him. How convenient it was that I woke up right at the climax of this confrontation. I got up and started thinking about how the enemy will try to break into our houses--our bodies, our personal sanctuaries. These parasites come in all different forms. They creep around our lives trying to figure out a way to break in--to break us. They leave hints and signals here and there--most of which we ignore or deny--and slowly ease into our lives at a moment of weakness. But let me not be misunderstood; We may let them in but they DO NOT have to stay! We can come face to face with these demons and let them know that we are not meant to break and they were not meant to break…