Tired of Proving Their Worthiness

It's exhausting trying to repeatedly convince somebody that they are worthy of your love. Almost as exhausting as it is to try to convince them that you are worthy of theirs. What crossing over into my 29th year has shown me is that I have little patience for people who feel they aren't worthy of my love in their roughest moments. What's the point of life--the point of friendship or relationship--if you can't give yourself over to your closest comrades without fear of being vulnerable or being perceived as weak? Proving to you that you are worthy of my attention, my time, my prayers, my comforting is ROUGH.

I've always been in situations where I had to convince people that I was enough for them. This is the first season of my life where I've had to constantly tell someone that they were enough for me--for this world. Is this what God feels like?--frustrated and bemused with us?--having to constantly reassure us that She is there for us through the ups and the downs?

How long can you bear the cross of someone else's insecurities before you have to let go and let them walk the lonesome valley by themselves?--before you have to let go and let them figure out their worthiness on their own?

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Although my mother would never want me to stay in a toxic situation, that experience has shaped the narrative around my vigorous fight against being labeled "quitter."

I'm an overa…

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I've talked previously about Having a Baby on here-

Not just having a baby but not feeling like I need a man to do it. It was a revolutionary act of self-love to declare, this past January, that I wasn't waiting on the perfect partner, the right time, or the best financial situation to have a baby. Black women, in particular, have it hard out here. For those of us who didn't accidentally get pregnant at 17, we were told by many to wait--to wait until we got settled into our careers, to wait until we made partner at the firm and then wait 3 years after that so that we could keep partner...to wait until we made tenure at whatever university...to wait until we got our first church or our first job as pastor...to wait and wait and wait....until our eggs disappear or we can no longer carry a child to term because we've reached advanced maternal age. I've heard the stories--both dictated to me in private and publicly shared in books and interviews [Read Gabrielle Union&#…

God and Wine

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