Skip to main content

Am I Your Youth Pastor? ☠️

I'm figuring out what works for me in ministry and what doesn't-- what I'm called to and what I'm not (at the moment). People are so quick to throw the "Under 35" crop of ministers into Children's or Youth ministry. They want us to be Youth Pastors sooooo bad. Let me tell y'all something: Youth ministry is a very specific calling, okay!

You got to know that it's where God is calling you because it's a very specific and intricate line of work. You are caring for the souls of 3-year olds on up. The wide age range is taxing and forces you to embrace a plethora of modes of explicating the theology of whatever place you're working in. It is not for the faint of heart and you will not be in worship service much (at many churches). You'll need to develop a spiritual life outside of Sunday mornings because the work is too demanding for you to actually be able to worship during that time.

I'm at a place on my (short) ministerial career where people are selling me "Children's Director" and "Youth Pastor" positions. I don't know exactly how I feel about this, but it's mostly a negative feeling. As a woman, being pingeonhold as a glorified Sunday school teacher frightens me. In some churches, this is exactly what you'll be doing--teaching Sunday school while your colleagues get to robe up and preach or serve communion or just...be in worship. That's no shade at all, but it's not for me, and I'm 6 credits away from a Master of Divinity degree that has cost me $35,000 thus far, 🤷🏾‍♀️so I need to be doing what I feel suits me and the communtity that I'm serving best.

For male identified people, this may not be an issue. But for someone who has seen powerful women in ministry get cornered into babysitting, disguised at "youth service" or "Godly Play," I'm a bit skeptical. Also, many churches are doing this thing where Sunday school happens during service, meaning the youth minister will not be in worship...like ever. I can't deal.

When I was growing up, Sunday school happened before service or in between services (when we moved to 2 services). Now, there's an expectation that kids should be taken out during service, which I fundamentally disagree with. I don't know who I'd be if I had not be allowed (or forced) to sit through every song, every litany, every sermon, or every communion, WITHOUT an iPad or iPhone to distract me. I learned so much by listening to Rev. Audry tell her stories during her sermons. I learned so much by tuning into whatever Pastor Webster was saying. And because I knew my mother would quiz me after, I made sure I paid extra close attention to the scripture, the theme, and the breakdown. This formed me as a youth and young adult, and I reflect on it now as a minister.

I digress. Youth ministry may not be for me. I'm fine with that. I have to be true to myself or I'll end up miserable. I sometimes feel guilty because it's a (part-time) job that I'm passing up. I really enjoy teaching Sunday school once in a while at the church that I'm interning at. I love middle school-aged kids. They are in my wheelhouse. I also really enjoy facilitating conversations among Young Adults (35 and under) and Seniors (60+). Theology on Tap has given me the opportunity to do just that. But don't give me the babies. They deserve someone who cares deeply and who can manage them.

As I wrestle with this calling and with the desire to become a Senior Pastor someday, I'm also mindful of how being pigeonholed can deter an individual who desires a certain level of freedom to not only reach their goals, but to lean fully into themselves. I'm afraid that youth ministry would suffucate me, leaving me dehydrated and starving--hungry for the parts of myself that'll get set aside because I'm nursing others.

It's a quandary. I'll continue to wrestle on this journey.

Peace✌🏾

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?"

Today (December 1st, 2020), Facebook reminded me that 5 years ago, I wrapped up a 5-week run of Ain't Misbehavin' at Portland Center Stage in Oregon, and flew back to New York City to re-enter my life there. I had just applied to seminary a few days before Thanksgiving and was excited about the possibility of leaning into this strong calling I felt to deepen my theological knowledge. I was still under the illusion that I'd be able to maintain some sort of performance career, so I kept my manager, Greg, and he'd continue sending me out on auditions. I was becoming very picky about what I'd say "yes" to-- Would I go on that national tour of Hamilton that he wanted to send me on or would I go to seminary? Would I leave to do a 9-month stint in After Midnight on an international cruise ship or would I go to seminary?  That was the question over and over again. I decided that I'd still do local stuff in NYC or short stints in other cities. Even as I ente

Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake

  Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake At the time of my writing this, I am sitting in my big chair, staring at my front window from inside the house, looking at the drippings that have stained the glass from the eggs that some neighborhood kids hurled at my window almost two weeks ago. They were mad at me (I suppose) because they came to steal another package off my front porch in December, but they did not know that it was a package I’d planted with a note inside. I had them on camera stealing several packages on my block during the winter break, including one of mine that contained dog food (I know they were disappointed when they opened that one up ha!). Instead of calling the police or posting their faces on the many neighborhood apps, I decided to take an old amazon box, place a note inside, retape it and leave it on the porch. The note read: “God loves you. I care about you. Stop stealing packages. -Pastor Mac.” I wanted these 3 kids who look like they ar

Exhausting Possibilities: A Sermon by Rev. Mia M. McClain

2 Kings 4:1-7  Delivered on August 15, 2021 at Myers Park Baptist Church, Charlotte, North Carolina I am a child of Grey’s Anatomy. No, not the human anatomy book by Henry Gray; the hit medical television drama. It’s safe to say that because of my obsession with the show, I am who am I, today. Between Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder, writer and producer Shonda Rhimes was basically my 3rd parent. In Grey’s Anatomy, so many life lessons were taught and learned. I saw so much of myself in the various groundbreaking characters she made room for on primetime television, and Shonda’s theologies and ideologies are on clear display in many of the landmark scenes. One scene, in particular, has had a lasting effect on me.  In the 2nd episode of season 2, a trauma patient comes in who the paramedics have been working on for almost a half hour with no improvement in his condition. The paramedic tells the Chief Resident, Dr. Miranda Bailey, that the patient is practically g