Skip to main content

Surviving the Community that Supports R. Kelly (and Men Like Him)

Read Finding Love After Sexual Assault Here
_______________________
My brilliant colleague, Danielle Williams Thiam, preached a sermon this fall on the rape of Tamar (2 Samuel 13). In her sermon she pointed out all the ways in which, not just Amnon, but the community and world in which Tamar lived participated in her rape. "Rape is a communal sin," she preached. I honor her words as a sexual assault survivor and as an advocate for holding the collective responsible for the violation of women's bodies, particularly the bodies of black and brown girls.
______________________

For every person who knew that Deacon so-and-so (who was in with the pastor) was touching little girls and turned their heads cuz they didn't want to 'fall out' with the pastor-
REPENT.

For every person who stood outside a closed door knowing that what was going on behind that door involved an abuse of power that ravaged a female body-
REPENT.

For every lawyer who knowingly defended a guilty predator for the sake of a fat check-
REPENT.

For every person who provided a false alibi for a "friend" they knew was up to mischief-
REPENT.

For every person who's asked a victim, "What were you wearing?"-
REPENT.

For every person who has murmured, "well, she's fast," "she doesn't look like a child," or "she enjoyed the attention"-
REPENT.

For every person who's blamed sex workers for their assault, as if their way of making of living warranted the brutal disrespect of their body, mind, and spirit-
REPENT.

For every parent who chose their child's abuser over their child-
REPENT.

For every person still stepping in the name of love (or whatever)- 👀😑

For every male contributing to "locker room" or "water cooler" conversations that objectify the female body-
REPENT.

For every person who said, "that's none of my business"-
REPENT.

For every person who voted for the proud sexual violator that is currently running ruining this country-
REPENT

For every campus security department that has launched an "independent investigation" on a college campus only to force dropped charges because alcohol was involved or because the perpetrator was white/weathly/an athlete-
REPENT.

For every colleague who turned their head when female PhD students struggled with abusive and inappropriate male advisors, some getting dissertation proposal rejected and being forced out of programs-
REPENT.

I can go on.
You can go on.
The list is infinite.

Will the cohort of communal sinners ever own up to the ways in which they've continually failed women and girls?

Add your call for repentance in the comments.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?"

Today (December 1st, 2020), Facebook reminded me that 5 years ago, I wrapped up a 5-week run of Ain't Misbehavin' at Portland Center Stage in Oregon, and flew back to New York City to re-enter my life there. I had just applied to seminary a few days before Thanksgiving and was excited about the possibility of leaning into this strong calling I felt to deepen my theological knowledge. I was still under the illusion that I'd be able to maintain some sort of performance career, so I kept my manager, Greg, and he'd continue sending me out on auditions. I was becoming very picky about what I'd say "yes" to-- Would I go on that national tour of Hamilton that he wanted to send me on or would I go to seminary? Would I leave to do a 9-month stint in After Midnight on an international cruise ship or would I go to seminary?  That was the question over and over again. I decided that I'd still do local stuff in NYC or short stints in other cities. Even as I ente

Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake

  Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake At the time of my writing this, I am sitting in my big chair, staring at my front window from inside the house, looking at the drippings that have stained the glass from the eggs that some neighborhood kids hurled at my window almost two weeks ago. They were mad at me (I suppose) because they came to steal another package off my front porch in December, but they did not know that it was a package I’d planted with a note inside. I had them on camera stealing several packages on my block during the winter break, including one of mine that contained dog food (I know they were disappointed when they opened that one up ha!). Instead of calling the police or posting their faces on the many neighborhood apps, I decided to take an old amazon box, place a note inside, retape it and leave it on the porch. The note read: “God loves you. I care about you. Stop stealing packages. -Pastor Mac.” I wanted these 3 kids who look like they ar

Why I Quit Church...

On Sunday I quit church... for the day, at least. It was the most beautiful and painfully passionate act of self-care I've ever done.   Hi. My name is Mia, and I live with an anxiety disorder.  It's 4:30 on Sunday morning. My first alarm intrudes on the three hours of sleep I've managed to acquire. I begrudgingly assess the state of my vocal cords and decide whether or not they are well enough for me to sleep another thirty minutes. I hit snooze. Minutes later, my second alarm assaults my rem cycle. I pimp-slap my iPhone and decide whether or not I'm going to steam (a process in which I stand over a pot of boiling water for fifteen minutes to lubricate my cords). I, instead, opt for the less time consuming process of making tea, buying me an extra fifteen minutes of sleep. at 5:15, my third and final alarm goes off. I roll out of bed and into the shower. As I lather, I do minor vocal warm-ups and meditate. It's 6:05. I'm clothed, tea is made, hair is done,