What does #LivingMyBestLife mean?
Day 4 of Fasting...
I left the house without eating...rookie mistake. Except, I'm not a rookie. I've done this before. Lack of preparation is probably the downfall of many plans/dreams/aspirations. "When we fail to prepare, we prepare to fail." Somebody mama said that once. I didn't fail, but I was severely challenged at the Bronx Zoo when I realized that all they had to offer was fried foods, burgers, and lunch meat sandwiches. Gratefully, I made it through to dinner. Also, being a parent this week to my 9-year old Godson doesn't help. It's extremely hard to fast when you have to care for little ones who aren't fasting, who don't understand fasting, who keep asking you why you're not eating chicken tenders with them, who demand meat with every meal so you end up having to cook two separate entrees. :rolls eyes: But he's worth it.
We were out and about today and I really didn't get to do much mediating or praying. I had very little time to think about today's expectation. It comes out of my desire to be financially free...or at least free enough to focus.
I am expecting a financial blessing that will free me up to focus on my assignments.
I am preparing for seminary and although I got a large scholarship package (COME THROUGH GOD :insert black praise hands emoji:), I have anxiety about the reality that I'll have to work extensively to pay my bills. A few years ago, I worked full-time while in graduate school at NYU. I finished in 9 months with a masters degree and a 3.975; but, I was thin, extremely malnourished, sleep deprived and cranky 85% of the time. I didn't have time to experience school. I had only enough energy to focus exclusively on my studies, none for building relationships with the majority of my cohort or attending special events that could've been intellectually and spiritually fruitful. I don't want that this time. I want to have energy for the experience. I want to actually be able to stay after class and grab tea with a colleague while discussing the lecture of the morning. I want to be well rested and available to be apart of the campus life. Instead of sprinting off to work after class, I'd like to be free enough to clarify my thoughts with a professor or unpack ideas with a mentor. I don't know the form in which this blessing will come but I am expecting the gift, however large or small, and I expect to pass the gift on as it matures and I mature along with it.
7/5/16 - I am expecting a bridge (to carry me from my passion to my placement)
7/6/16 - I am expecting an action plan (to discover or create a plan for building that bridge)
7/7/16 - I am expecting a God-ordained partnership (to help me get to my placement)
7/8/16 - I am expecting a financial blessing that will free me up to focus
I have a passion. I'm expecting a plan and a partner(s) to help me build a bridge to carry me to my placement. I'm expecting financial freedom so that I can focus on my assignment and have energy for the experience.
With all that's going on in this country and beyond, I encourage you all to stay grounded in some way. Fasting has surprisingly helped me over the past 4 days. I am unexpectedly calmer because of it, and more focused on my assignment and placement in the movement (whatever that may be).The commotion of media makes us frivolous. The stories make us angry. It's easy to get caught somewhere between vengeful anger and exasperating grief--between feelings of communal motivation and solitary defeat. Find your cornerstone.