Living My Best Life Pt. 2

[Read: Living My Best Life Pt. 1]

Day 2 of Fasting...

A few hours after publishing my last post, I was confronted by the despicable news of the Alton Sterling assassination by cops in Baton Rouge, LA. If you haven't been living under a rock and actually care about the state of humanity, you'll understand why this heartbreaking and gut-wrenching event halted my writing. I still prayed today, and meditated, and continued being intentional about declaring my expectations during this time of sacrifice and abstinence; however, it felt incredibly selfish and challenged my perception of self-preservation during times of national crisis.  I walked past a bottle of bourbon in my kitchen several times as I considered taking a shot or six to numb the lack of pain I felt regarding the most recent assassination. I felt kinda bad for not shedding a tear--that my heart, as much as I wanted it to, did not skip a beat while watching somebody's black father/husband/son/brother/neighbor get shot at close range. I know that my ability to not cry in horrific situations does not decrease the validity of my feelings. All day, I felt dry and thirsty for answers and action plans, unable to quench the thirst with wine because I'm fasting, after all, and all of my vices are gone. So I've had the tedious task of facing my emotions, or the lack thereof, head on. That's weird, always. I press forward, however, even on the rough days, because I'm determined to live my very best, most passionate, most purposeful life

I digress. Whew!

Expectations.

7/5/16 - Today, I am expecting a bridge. I am expecting a bridge to carry me from where I am to where I desire to be. I'll even build it myself. I expect to obtain or recognize the tools that will allow me to build a bridge...to build my breakthrough.

7/6/16 - Today, I am expecting an action plan. I am expecting to discover or create a plan for building, for creating, for fighting, for healing. In moments like these, I struggle to find my place in the movement towards justice and healing. I'm learning that my placement in the movement/in life will be connected to my passion . I am anticipating an action plan that will get me from my passion to my placement.

I am expecting to build a bridge that will carry me from my passion to my placement.

Plan: Passion. Bridge. Placement.






Comments