Skip to main content

It's My Preacher-versary

I preached my first public sermon on March 29, 2017. It was a total accident...at least that's what it felt like, but I'm sure God would argue otherwise. [Read more about that experience and the after-effects here] 

I was really emotional all day today. It's partially because I'm having an issue of blood 😡, partially because I'm lonely, partially because it's Holy Week and I'm working a lot, partially because I'm approaching my 29th birthday, but mostly because today marks one year since I did this totally amazing and unexpected thing in James Chapel at Union Theological Seminary in New York City. Since then, I've preached 10 times. I've experimented with this thing and explored my voice in more ways than I could've ever imagined. I've realized how much my acting training and career have helped me step into this thing and I've embraced the bittersweet loneliness that comes along with this thing (or at least I'm trying to).

I sat in the dark sanctuary of my church, moments before tonight's Maundy Thursday service, and I was overcome with gratitude and sadness, fear and anticipation. What is this thing? I didn't sign up for it--it found me--and I'm annoyed by it and blessed by it at the same time. I miss so many elements of my old life. There are times when I've tried to give it back:
God, take this thing from me so I can live my life as I please--so that I can have the man and the career and marriage and the family and the freedom and the joy that I desire!
There are also moments, however, when I burst into laughter with my bosses or I find myself joyfully overwhelmed by the wonderful youth I get to do ministry with, and I'm reminded that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I wish I had more of those moments. I pray that I'll be able to be open to those moments more often as I grow and mature into this thing.

One year in the game.
And what a year it has been!

I'm grateful for Elijah, who helped me step into this thing so freely.
I learned a lot about preaching--about how to prepare and organize for the preaching moment--from  him. Perhaps, without that support, I wouldn't have had the confidence so soon to step into this thing that I said I was not interested in. 
I'm grateful for every friend who has supported me--
For Te'Shounda and Brandon who came to hear me preach my first sermon,
For Donavan, Eric, Joe and Mama Sharon who joined them when I preached for the first time in a church last May,
For my FCBC family who came out in July to support me and continue to pray for me and my journey, 
For my Father, Mother, and Aunt De who flew up from New Orleans when I preached several times last fall, 
for my peers at Union who trust me enough to include me in their chapel services,
For my wonderful bosses at FWCC,
For my amazing FWCC community, 
For the everlasting Grace of God that holds me, 
Thank you.
I'm grateful.






Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your journey and the God given Word!!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?"

Today (December 1st, 2020), Facebook reminded me that 5 years ago, I wrapped up a 5-week run of Ain't Misbehavin' at Portland Center Stage in Oregon, and flew back to New York City to re-enter my life there. I had just applied to seminary a few days before Thanksgiving and was excited about the possibility of leaning into this strong calling I felt to deepen my theological knowledge. I was still under the illusion that I'd be able to maintain some sort of performance career, so I kept my manager, Greg, and he'd continue sending me out on auditions. I was becoming very picky about what I'd say "yes" to-- Would I go on that national tour of Hamilton that he wanted to send me on or would I go to seminary? Would I leave to do a 9-month stint in After Midnight on an international cruise ship or would I go to seminary?  That was the question over and over again. I decided that I'd still do local stuff in NYC or short stints in other cities. Even as I ente

When I Stepped Into Myself

[ Read "Way to Freedom" HERE ] I had a conversation with myself last night, re-imagining a previous conversation I had with God about 2 years ago. God was like, "I'm gonna sit here with my arms wide open, while you seek refuge in people and things that were not meant to shelter you, and I'll wait patiently for you to come back home to me." That moment with God 2 years ago was the beginning of my real relationship with God and my relationship with my purpose(s). As I watched things fall into place, in awe of the matchless moves of the universe pushing me toward my purpose (or myself), I never quite committed to the purpose; I never quite committed to God. I walked around God--around my purpose, around myself--but never stepped in. Maybe this is you. This has been your life for years...going in and out of the revolving door that is God's arms. And God still loves, even when you're outside of the door. God still loves, even when your head is pressed

Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake

  Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake At the time of my writing this, I am sitting in my big chair, staring at my front window from inside the house, looking at the drippings that have stained the glass from the eggs that some neighborhood kids hurled at my window almost two weeks ago. They were mad at me (I suppose) because they came to steal another package off my front porch in December, but they did not know that it was a package I’d planted with a note inside. I had them on camera stealing several packages on my block during the winter break, including one of mine that contained dog food (I know they were disappointed when they opened that one up ha!). Instead of calling the police or posting their faces on the many neighborhood apps, I decided to take an old amazon box, place a note inside, retape it and leave it on the porch. The note read: “God loves you. I care about you. Stop stealing packages. -Pastor Mac.” I wanted these 3 kids who look like they ar