Welp, I made it through New Year's Eve sober and was completely fine with that. At midnight, my friend, her 3-year old son, and I toasted to 2015 with a glorious glass of bubbly ginger beer! Ha! I woke up this morning in my right mind and without a hangover headache! It’s weird, still. I didn't realize until this week how much of a friend alcohol was. I feel like I lost someone close to me, and by choice; it's as if I murdered my best friend. I'm determined to complete at least 30 days of sobriety. My relationship with alcohol hasn't been extremely problematic. I mean, I used to drink before working at the restaurant sometimes, never before a rehearsal, sometimes during a late night singing gig, never before church, sometimes after church, always on dates, sometimes during writing sessions... I don't think I'm an alcoholic. Then again, does any alcoholic think he or she has a problem? I am mostly on this journey to test my self-control and move through the universe with an unaltered state of mind. I want to be full of things that matter, and I'm making space for those things by detoxing my mind, body, and spirit.
I don't have much to say in this post. I'm bored today--too lazy to move, too wired to sleep. I feel extremely unproductive and the usual feeling of "I'm not doing enough" is creeping into bed with me. It's the first day of a new year and I have no resolutions. My new year began on December 20th (See post). My only public proclamation is to be a better lover--to love God more deeply, to love others more freely, and to love myself more effectively. And I'm still trying to figure out what love is...
Post a Comment