You Chose Me?

I spent some much needed quality time with myself this week. In that time, I embraced silence. I've never been one for a noisy home. I am so busy in so many other areas of my house, when I get home, I desire the serenity of my little Oasis in the middle of this concrete jungle. No TV blaring, no music blasting--just peace.

Now that is not to say that I don't listen to music at all or ever catch up on my shows on Hulu. Matter of fact, I worship daily, listening to music via wireless headphones--communing with God in the sanctuary of my living room. But those are intentional sounds that disrupt silence. Those are the disruptions that I choose.

Today, I allowed the silence to give way to worship. I sat at my keyboard and just let the Spirit move my hands and mouth voice through the silence. Most days, I don't sit down at the piano with an agenda. I sit down with optimism and curiosity--What will God and the ancestors awaken in me today? Sometimes it's a completely new song that gets birthed on the spot. Sometimes an old song comes to mind right away. Other times, like today, I sit in silence, letting the air guide me back to myself.

Today, I was reminded, whilst sitting in silence at the keys, that God chose me--God CHOSE me! God chose ME?! Lil ole me with the long, skinny fingers and the wild imagination. Me, who is imperfect and has fallen short. Me, who's been selfish and inconsiderate. Me, who has run from God many times. Me.

God choose me to do this work--the work of music, the work of ministry...the work of healing. I was reminded of a song I wrote back in Fall of 2015, right around the time I applied to seminary.  In that hotel room in Portland, Oregon, I sat in silence, amazed at what God was doing in my life--amazed that I'd gotten the chance to live many of my dreams--amazed that I was constantly being made aware of dreams I never even knew I had. That God would love me so much that She'd open my eyes to the newness of life and dreaming over and over again!🙌🏾

The song I wrote is called I Choose You. It speaks about God choosing the imperfect us, over and over again, and because of that, we must make the choice to choose God and God's plan for our lives, even if that plan makes us uncomfortable, even if that plan brings sorrowful tears to our eyes, even if that plan means separating from our own plans for the sake of the greater that God has for us. It speaks to the fact that no matter what we've done, how we may have transgressed, nothing can separate us from the endless Love of God!--that if God had to do it all over again, She'd prolly choose us. Isn't that amazing?!

I Choose You, God, because you chose me.