so often
we look for blessings to drop from the sky
like manna from heaven.
but what if
every thing we reached for
was inside?
what if
instead of grabbing
we pushed?
there's a blessing in your belly
waiting to be birthed.
labor pains dormant
for a short period of time
while distracted by life;
but in sleepless nights
that give way to weary days,
contractions kick in so fiercely.
the spine aches as hip bones adjust to
stress placed upon them.
"I'm tired of being in labor,"
she says.
tired of being tired.
caught somewhere between
"I need to rest" and "I need to push."
which one is it, God?
Today (December 1st, 2020), Facebook reminded me that 5 years ago, I wrapped up a 5-week run of Ain't Misbehavin' at Portland Center Stage in Oregon, and flew back to New York City to re-enter my life there. I had just applied to seminary a few days before Thanksgiving and was excited about the possibility of leaning into this strong calling I felt to deepen my theological knowledge. I was still under the illusion that I'd be able to maintain some sort of performance career, so I kept my manager, Greg, and he'd continue sending me out on auditions. I was becoming very picky about what I'd say "yes" to-- Would I go on that national tour of Hamilton that he wanted to send me on or would I go to seminary? Would I leave to do a 9-month stint in After Midnight on an international cruise ship or would I go to seminary? That was the question over and over again. I decided that I'd still do local stuff in NYC or short stints in other cities. Even as I ente
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