Skip to main content

Living My Best Life Pt. 4

[Read Living My Best Life Pt. 3]

What does #LivingMyBestLife mean? 
 
 Day 4 of Fasting...

I left the house without eating...rookie mistake. Except, I'm not a rookie. I've done this before. Lack of preparation is probably the downfall of many plans/dreams/aspirations. "When we fail to prepare, we prepare to fail." Somebody mama said that once. I didn't fail, but I was severely challenged at the Bronx Zoo when I realized that all they had to offer was fried foods, burgers, and lunch meat sandwiches. Gratefully, I made it through to dinner. Also, being a parent this week to my 9-year old Godson doesn't help. It's extremely hard to fast when you have to care for little ones who aren't fasting, who don't understand fasting, who keep asking you why you're not eating chicken tenders with them, who demand meat with every meal so you end up having to cook two separate entrees. :rolls eyes: But he's worth it. 

We were out and about today and I really didn't get to do much mediating or praying. I had very little time to think about today's expectation. It comes out of my desire to be financially free...or at least free enough to focus. 

Today's expectation:

I am expecting a financial blessing that will free me up to focus on my assignments.
I am preparing for seminary and although I got a large scholarship package (COME THROUGH GOD :insert black praise hands emoji:), I have anxiety about the reality that I'll have to work extensively to pay my bills.  A few years ago, I worked full-time while in graduate school at NYU. I finished in 9 months with a masters degree and a 3.975; but, I was thin, extremely malnourished, sleep deprived and cranky 85% of the time. I didn't have time to experience school. I had only enough energy to focus exclusively on my studies, none for building relationships with the majority of my cohort or attending special events that could've been intellectually and spiritually fruitful. I don't want that this time. I want to have energy for the experience. I want to actually be able to stay after class and grab tea with a colleague while discussing the lecture of the morning. I want to be well rested and available to be apart of the campus life. Instead of sprinting off to work after class, I'd like to be free enough to clarify my thoughts with a professor or unpack ideas with a mentor. I don't know the form in which this blessing will come but I am expecting the gift, however large or small, and I expect to pass the gift on as it matures and I mature along with it. 

7/5/16 - I am expecting a bridge (to carry me from my passion to my placement)
7/6/16 - I am expecting an action plan (to discover or create a plan for building that bridge)
7/7/16 - I am expecting a God-ordained partnership (to help me get to my placement)

7/8/16 - I am expecting a financial blessing that will free me up to focus

I have a passion. I'm expecting a plan and a partner(s) to help me build a bridge to carry me to my placement. I'm expecting financial freedom so that I can focus on my assignment and have energy for the experience.

-----
With all that's going on in this country and beyond, I encourage you all to stay grounded in some way. Fasting has surprisingly helped me over the past 4 days. I am unexpectedly calmer because of it, and more focused on my assignment and placement in the movement (whatever that may be).The commotion of media makes us frivolous. The stories make us angry. It's easy to get caught somewhere between vengeful anger and exasperating grief--between feelings of communal motivation and solitary defeat. Find your cornerstone. 

Blessings

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I Stepped Into Myself

[ Read "Way to Freedom" HERE ] I had a conversation with myself last night, re-imagining a previous conversation I had with God about 2 years ago. God was like, "I'm gonna sit here with my arms wide open, while you seek refuge in people and things that were not meant to shelter you, and I'll wait patiently for you to come back home to me." That moment with God 2 years ago was the beginning of my real relationship with God and my relationship with my purpose(s). As I watched things fall into place, in awe of the matchless moves of the universe pushing me toward my purpose (or myself), I never quite committed to the purpose; I never quite committed to God. I walked around God--around my purpose, around myself--but never stepped in. Maybe this is you. This has been your life for years...going in and out of the revolving door that is God's arms. And God still loves, even when you're outside of the door. God still loves, even when your head is pressed
Post a Comment
Read more

"Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?"

Today (December 1st, 2020), Facebook reminded me that 5 years ago, I wrapped up a 5-week run of Ain't Misbehavin' at Portland Center Stage in Oregon, and flew back to New York City to re-enter my life there. I had just applied to seminary a few days before Thanksgiving and was excited about the possibility of leaning into this strong calling I felt to deepen my theological knowledge. I was still under the illusion that I'd be able to maintain some sort of performance career, so I kept my manager, Greg, and he'd continue sending me out on auditions. I was becoming very picky about what I'd say "yes" to-- Would I go on that national tour of Hamilton that he wanted to send me on or would I go to seminary? Would I leave to do a 9-month stint in After Midnight on an international cruise ship or would I go to seminary?  That was the question over and over again. I decided that I'd still do local stuff in NYC or short stints in other cities. Even as I ente
Post a Comment
Read more

Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake

  Cracked Eggs, Nerf Guns, and the Murder of Karon Blake At the time of my writing this, I am sitting in my big chair, staring at my front window from inside the house, looking at the drippings that have stained the glass from the eggs that some neighborhood kids hurled at my window almost two weeks ago. They were mad at me (I suppose) because they came to steal another package off my front porch in December, but they did not know that it was a package I’d planted with a note inside. I had them on camera stealing several packages on my block during the winter break, including one of mine that contained dog food (I know they were disappointed when they opened that one up ha!). Instead of calling the police or posting their faces on the many neighborhood apps, I decided to take an old amazon box, place a note inside, retape it and leave it on the porch. The note read: “God loves you. I care about you. Stop stealing packages. -Pastor Mac.” I wanted these 3 kids who look like they ar
Post a Comment
Read more