God and Wine

I was off this past Wednesday so I decided, after my chiropractor appointment in Chinatown (sketch, I know), to journey to Brooklyn. It was 70 degrees and sunny out and I was feeling myself so why not? I walked from Chinatown across the BK bridge to a vintage neighborhood called DUMBO. I ate 2 scoops of Butter Pecan Ice Cream from the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and laid out on the Brooklyn Promenade whilst writing (tryna be all deep and sh*t). I then went to a quiet bar/restaurant called 7 Old Fulton Street under the bridge and snatched a few cocktails and dinner... This begins my writing rant... A day in my mind:  1) My excuse for drinking Manhattans is there are bitters in them...and bitters are good for you, so.., 2) NYC is amazing. I thank God everyday I'm here. My apartment ain't everything I want it to be; my life ain't everything I want it to be; but one day on the Brooklyn Promenade can change all of that. I'm truly blessed and the best i...

Here you were trying to seek refuge in people and things, and he was there all along, waiting for his child to return to him. And patiently he waited, as you tried any and every other way to live your life. Then he started knocking people and things out of your life, right and left. And you complained about being 'alone.' You didn't understand why people and things were disappearing from your circle of comfort. You couldn't recognize that he was trying to shift things in your life, that he was trying to move you in a better direction--towards a superior way of living.  When things are moving and shifting in your life, the places and people that used to feel comfortable don't feel comfortable anymore. What used to be fulfilling  is only partially filling, if at all. Because a part of you is longing to be free. But in order to be free, you must lose some things to gain some things; you must rearrange some things; you must change some things.  Here you were trying to s...

Trouble in my heart It's 2:47am. June 1st. Early  Saturday morning . And I'm beginning this blog post because, once again, my sleep has been interrupted and falling back to sleep is more trouble than its worth.  I haven't had a good night's rest in weeks for a plethora of reasons. Tonight--or this morning rather--I have trouble in my heart. Yea. Cancelled plans have me home alone, again, this weekend, leaving me to contemplate my life, all that it is and all that it isn't. It's fair to say that this year of life has been marked with a series of cancelled plans and broken friendships that have opened my eyes to the growing (apart) pains of your mid-20's. And I thought this was supposed to be the "time of our lives."  I feel like I've been waiting for  "the time of our lives" since I was 14 years old. They promised us in middle school that high school would be "the time of our lives." It wasn't. They promised us at freshma...

Earlier today, I was admiring someone else's life, looking at how she seemed to "have it all"--great friends, a prosperous career path, boyfriend/fiancé/husband. God got me together real quick--s/he said, "Don't feed into popular fantasies. What looks good on the outside ain't always good on the inside. And even if it is, I SET YOU APART FOR A REASON! Trust me." Sometimes it's so hard for us to trust whatever higher power we believe in, let alone, ourselves. We find struggle in trusting our own journey. We look at other people's lives in order to create conventional benchmarks for our own. "Sarah went to such-n-such college." "So-and-So got married at 26." "Jane Doe just bought a house." "John Doe just made partner at 28." Let's not forget the pressure we get from family to do and/or be whatever. If we had nothing or no one to base our life path on, how many of us would dream bigger? Would w...

Way to Freedom (Demo) Music, Lyrics, and Arrangments by: Yours Truly When I wrote this song--this song about freedom--I was going through it! I was stressed out. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! At the time I didn't realize the power of my words--or in this case, Gods words that were spoken through the people of God. I had just heard a sermon at church and the Pastor said something like, "You can't be faithful and live in fear," or something like, "Faith and fear cannot coexist." I'm not much of a shouter in church so I sat there and pondered that message as I usually do. As I walked through the cold streets of Harlem, and let that message soak in, I began to realize that everything in life begins with a choice between faith and fear. Of course, with me being the truly analytical person that I am, that message really didn't sink in until months later when I had to finally make the decision to free myself, therefore, embracing fai...

Duck....duck......GET THE HELL OUTTA MY LIFE GOOSE! This entry is very simple. Pay attention. Definitions: Your circle : your close friends, family, and acquaintances. Divine assignment : something you were destined to do since conception; your ultimate passion or personal goal Golden rule: YOUR CIRCLE SHOULD BE HELPING YOU FULFILL YOUR DIVINE ASSIGNMENT(S). If not, you need to play a good ole game of Duck-Duck-Goose and CLEAN HOUSE ! Ok. I'm done.

I think I fell  in love with you when I was 13-- when I discovered the power you had over my life or the power you placed within me. Or maybe I fell in love with you when my fingers first graced the ebony and ivories of the wooden piano in my childhood home. Or maybe, it was long before that. Perhaps, I subconsciously fell in love with you while in my mothers womb--The sweet sounds of my father's genius fingers or my mother's angelic voice providing comfort as I sprouted from a seed in life's garden. Or perhaps, it was at conception. I don't quite remember the exact moment, year, month, week, age, or time of day. I just know that I woke up one day in a whirlwind romantic affair with you. All of a sudden, a life without you was unimaginable. Even when it seemed more painful to live with you than without you, you stuck by be and never let me go. I owe so much to you. So much of who I am is YOU.  I often think to myself, will I ever be able to love another? Wil...